Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of the economy, our government has decided to implement a scheme to put workers 50 years of age and older on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).
Persons selected to be raped can apply to the government to be eligible for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination).
Persons who have been raped and shafted will be reviewed under the SCREW Programme (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers).
A person may be raped once, shafted twice and screwed as many times as the government deems appropriate.
Only persons who have been raped can get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependents and Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earning for Retired Personnel Early Severance).
Persons who are not raped and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible.
The government has always prided itself in the amount of shit it gives out. Should you feel that you do not receive enough shit, please bring this to the attention of your local MP. They have been trained to give you all the shit you can handle.
Persons selected to be raped can apply to the government to be eligible for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination).
Persons who have been raped and shafted will be reviewed under the SCREW Programme (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers).
A person may be raped once, shafted twice and screwed as many times as the government deems appropriate.
Only persons who have been raped can get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependents and Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earning for Retired Personnel Early Severance).
Persons who are not raped and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible.
The government has always prided itself in the amount of shit it gives out. Should you feel that you do not receive enough shit, please bring this to the attention of your local MP. They have been trained to give you all the shit you can handle.
oh really... nyc schemes.. i also feel so..
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